Sometimes I forget how much I complain on this blog. I don’t call it complaining though. I call it “self exploration”. HEAR THAT B? I DON’T COMPLAIN. But sometimes I forget to talk about the good things. And then I remember that some of you out there are reading this and going through the pregnancy stuff and the baby stuff with me for the first time and I’ve scared your eggs from every coming out of ovary hiding again. So this is something different.
This is an update. It’s an update for all of you out there terrified of having a colicky baby. It’s for all of you who are staring down the 9th hour of constant crying from your baby and wondering if it will ever end. It’s for you guys with a tiny toddler who hates everything and everyone. Everyone said it to me and I told them to blow me. But it’s true. IT GETS BETTER.
Many of you may remember this post, where I basically cried and accepted that my child is who he is and it may not be who I want him to be, but that’s not for me to decide. But I was never really like “cool” with it. I mean I wanted my kid to be happy. Who doesn’t? I wanted my kid to be cool and chill. But we all want stuff for our kids. We want them to walk sooner, talk better, share more, poop less, poop more, eat kefir and flax and recite the alphabet in Russian. Sometimes it happens but usually it doesn’t.
It’s because our kids are a tiny reflection of us. And whether we admit it or not, we don’t want the kid who acts like an asshole at the party. Because it says something about us. And I admit that. And I know that I’m crazy in the head, but so is B. So I kind of knew that G would be on the fringe.
But then it changed.
I am stupidly happy to report that at least right now, in this minute, today, G is an awesome kid. A kid I’m really proud of. Tomorrow may be another story when he throws his dinner at me, pees on the carpet and says no 432 times in 1 hour. But right now? We’re good.
And it’s not that he’s just some well behaved kid. He’s really happy. And that’s what I was always worried about. I told B last night that I actually thought he would be miserable for the rest of his life. Like a goth toddler. Which WOULD be cool in theory. But not in life. But G spends his days dancing to music, laughing a lot, reading, talking to me, singing and actually being affectionate. He gives hugs and kisses. He loves his grandparents and really just attention in general. And believe it or not, he actually listens to me. I KNOW.
But this blog isn’t brag-town. It’s about real life. I’m not here to say to all of you: LOOK AT ME AND MY PERFECT CHILD. It took a lot of tears and awful-ness to get to this point. And I’m no fool. I KNOW this phase will end and we’ll stare down the throat of the terrible 2’s shortly. And he’ll probably try to bury his sister in the tomato garden. But this time in his life gives me lots of hope for him as a kid growing up.
But I owed this post to you after post after post of depression, helplessness, and stress. I feel like we’ve come out on the other side. At least for now. And I’m ready to do it all over again with baby #2. And you know what? Now I know what the bad times are like but even better, I know that they end. And you should know that too. If you’re struggling like I was, it ends. The one thing I’ve learned is that it’s ALL a phase. If you’re like “my child is doing this crazy ass thing”. It ends. I promise it ends.
And this friends was my Oprah gratitude moment. Stay tuned for my next 57 posts of complaining before we get another one of these.
Happy Weekend,
LOVE
MODG, YoShe and happy G